I hate my body. I hate my past. I hate my future. I hate right now. But, most of all, I just hate me. It’s been almost two years since I’ve attempted suicide, but tonight it tastes so sweet. I’m not going to though; I’ve come too far and I have to be stronger than that, but after seeing that razor in the shower, it all just seems way too easy.

It’s not you’re fault, I’ve always been like this. So don’t feel bad for me, but don’t be happy this is happening either.. To hell with it, you can be happy this is happening again. I can hear you say I deserve it already. And I hate when people say “I’m sorry” cause honestly that’s all you can say right? That’s all you can say..

And I hate that none of my friends asked me what really happened, they just assumed with the Alpha. Believed the unseen. And I love how the only person here for me is my Mom on Mother’s Day. Looks like I ruined that for her too. You don’t know what it’s like till you’ve been there. And for those of my friends who have.. where are you now? Cause you’re surely not here.